Monday, April 20, 2015

10 Things to Do in Las Vegas

Hawaii is a long way, so stopped en route for a few days in Vegas. Here are a few things I got up to while I was there.

1. Helicopter flight to the Grand Canyon 

Apart from the fact that our pilot clearly seemed incredibly bored by the whole thing (I suppose even if your day job is flying a helicopter into the Grand Canyon, it becomes a mindless chore you grow to hate) this was pretty cool. Champagne lunch turned out to be cheap sparkling wine and some muffins, but still, what a view. We also flew over the Hoover Dam.


2. Top of the fake Eiffel Tower in fake Paris

Eiffel should sue.
Much nicer than the real Paris.

3. Gondola ride along the fake Grand Canal in fake Venice

At the Venetian hotel. Our gondolier sang a couple of songs I didn't recognise (he didn't do requests), but he sounded utterly bored too. 
Much nicer than the real Venice. That sky is fake.

4. Rollercoaster at New York, New York

Much nicer than the real New York. And more blurry.

5. Rides on the top of the Stratosphere


6. Buffet at Caesar's Palace

aka "Fight off rivals in the queue while grabbing as many crab legs as you can for $50 ." But Holy Fuck. The desserts!
That's not a cube of spam by the way.

7. Aquarium at Mandalay Bay

Not the best aquarium I've ever been to.


8. Fountains at the Bellagio

Luckily you can't hear "My Heart Will Go On" which was the tune for this particular display.

9. Cocktails at the Wynn

What kind of monstrous egoist asshole writes his name across the top of his hotels? Oh yes, Donald Trump. (And Steve Wynn)

10. Zumanity Cirque du Soleil show


This is the "funny" burlesque cirque du soleil show - with tits. It was excruciatingly awful.  Spent the entire time squirming in my seat hoping not to make eye contact with any of the performers so they wouldn't drag me on stage and pretend to perform some kind of sex act on me while stripping me to my boxers.

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